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Happenings ~ 24th September 2017

Hearing: The playlist iTunes picks for me every week - "My Chill Mix" - at the minute, the song "Sweethearts" by Foy Vance is playing.  I'm liking it.

Drinking: I have been indulging in the occasional wine over the last month or so.  I haven't really drunk a lot of alcohol since Isaac was born (or while I was pregnant, obviously); but I have been starting to enjoy a glass here and there.  I am also drinking lots of coffee as always, and water with lemon. Green tea with lemon slices has also been making a regular appearance.

Eating & Cooking: I have been making quite a few curries of late. Korma is my favourite at the minute.  I haven't been as good with meal-prepping for my lunches, but have found these "wellness bowls" at the supermarket that I bought quite a few of when they were on special and they have been a healthy, easy alternative. It's become a bit of a tradition to make banana pikelets every weekend (just mashed banana, eggs, self-raising flour, nutmeg and milk cooked in coconut oil).  It's lovely to sit together as a family - Isaac's eating has become quite picky over the last few months but he demolishes these without fail. 

Wanting: A lot of things... we are saving to put up some nice fencing/gates to block off our back yard so Isaac can run around without us having to constantly chase him so he doesn't go on the road.  We are trying to decide at the minute whether we are going to stay in this house or whether we want to sell and move somewhere with a bit more land.  The thought makes me very anxious either way - I hate making big decisions but now is the time to decide while we are still young and I'm back at work.

Playing: Whatever Isaac wants to!  He has become really clingy when he's at home lately, not happy to play independently for very long, if at all.  At the moment he loves to empty the container drawer in the kitchen and pack it back up again, build with blocks (not just knock them down!) and as always, playing with his favourite trucks.  He is also loving teddies which is super cute.  He gives them big cuddles then brings them up to me so I can give them all a kiss each.  He likes to try and cuddle them all at once (he has about 6 that he particularly loves) and gets very upset if he drops any!

Deciding: I kind of covered that in the "wanting" section... but I am still constantly thinking about whether or not we should have another baby.  It is literally always in my mind.  Part of me feels like it would be so healing and I want Isaac to have a sibling, but then there is of course the terrified side that I've talked about before.  Can we handle it? Will I be OK? Will I regret it? UGH. So many questions.

Enjoying: Being able to communicate a bit more easily with Isaac.  He understands a lot, asking him questions like "where's your elbow?" and him pointing it out and getting so excited and clapping when he gets the answer right.  Pointing out objects in books and learning new words every day.  He is constantly asking "what's that?" at the minute, which is both adorable and eventually annoying haha.  I am really trying to work on my patience with him.  He is a toddler; they are difficult by nature, but not on purpose. Trying to put myself in his shoes and realise he is learning constantly - pushing boundaries is to be expected and I need to respond to this in the most loving way possible while still beginning to introduce gentle discipline.

Looking: I'm always looking for things I want to get for Isaac haha.  Most of the time I control myself and don't buy much. I do want to get him a sandpit soon though.  One of those clam shell ones that can be closed off, or put water in one side when it's summer.  I used to LOVE my sandpit when I was little. 

Loving: All the time I was able to spend with my sister and niece over the past few weeks.  They left again yesterday to go to Kalgoorlie for the next year so, which makes me sad obviously; but seeing the beautiful bond Isaac and Ada have together, and having Ada run up to me for cuddles and just getting to sit and have coffee with my beautiful sister has been amazing. I'm going to miss them so much, but I'm thankful for the lovely time we had together for a while.

Planning: Self-care activities. I tend to fall down a bit in this area and end up grumpy, tired and resentful as a result.  See previous post for more info :)

Watching: Reid and I have been watching House of Cards, which I find completely addictive and so fascinating. I've also been watching the latest season of Offspring when I have time (wow, the episode where Nina delivers a stillborn baby had me SOBBING).  I really, really love tuning out to a good TV show.  It is something I find a bit indulgent but I just love that relaxing, tune-out feeling.

Savouring: Any time Isaac has a nap for longer than 45 minutes.  I know he won't have day sleeps forever, so I'm trying to enjoy the time I get to myself, or with Reid, while they last.

Wearing: Tights with black skirts and tops for work, as well as my trusty Ponte pants.  Leggings and t-shirts around the house.  I'm going to need some clothes for when the weather warms up, which it is doing very gradually/sporadically which is pretty standard for Tasmania.

Reading: Wow, I really haven't been making time for reading.  I literally can't remember a time I picked up a book in the last month or so... I need to do this, even if it's just a few pages before I go to sleep.  If Isaac naps long enough, I'm going to start a book after I finish this post.

Craving: Spaghetti.  I've been mixing it through our curries, always wanting Bolognese, dreaming of spaghetti with pesto, cherry tomatoes, olives and maybe peas?  I am such a sucker for carbs... Also, good quality sourdough. Yum!

Feeling: A bit overwhelmed if I'm honest.  There doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to get done what I want/need to.  Work is so busy, which is great, but it's making me gradually more tired as Isaac continues to be fairly wakeful overnight.  Trying to make decisions about our house, our future, our family, our budget - it seems never ending.  Making time for Reid, making time for Isaac, making time for housework, trying to make time for myself.  Where does it end?  Having said that, I'm also happier now than I have been in a long time. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I really am.  There will always be something to worry about, always something to decide - I am trying to live more in the moment, enjoy what I have now and give my little boy as many cuddles as I can while he still wants them. 

Happenings posts inspired by Heidi,


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Happenings ~ 4th October 2018

DOING: Lying in bed, writing this post. I had my first appointment with a new psychologist today (spoiler alert, she's amazing), and the first session with a therapist is always really emotional and tiring. I had some time in lieu owed to me from work, so I have taken full advantage of that today. Mum and Dad are taking Isaac to their bush block for the night and he was SO excited. I am really grateful for this rest. 
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