I have had the loveliest four days off work with Reid. I need more of this.
I have been reading a few articles lately about the "glorification of being busy". I don't find any glory in it at all to be honest. Why would people want to constantly be busy if they had the choice?
We have been so relaxed. We went to the beautiful Stewart's Bay lodge for a couple of nights. We enjoyed spa baths, lounging on the couch, walks outside even though it was freezing, lots of coffee and tea, lovely food and sleep-ins.
I have recently discovered a blog that I have quickly become obsessed with (www.applesundermybed.com). It is written by a woman who, to me, seems to have a wonderfully balanced life. She writes posts about time with her husband and family, she discusses her nourishing rituals, (she is a Dietician) but she also treats herself with lovingly baked goods and other occasional indulgences. Not to mention she is just a beautiful writer, she has a wonderful way with words and it really feels like seeing glimpses of her heart and soul within each of her posts.
Her blog has really got me thinking about the way I live my life. I've written a lot about time. A lot about not having enough of it. I don't know where 24 hours goes. Working full time and trying to study and do things around the house and spend time with Reid and family - the weeks are a blur.
How do I let this happen? Being so busy is not something I want. I want to live every day to the fullest. I want to have lazy days on a regular basis for my own sanity. So I can feel recharged and refreshed and not run down and tired and irritable. How do people do this? How do people do everything that needs to be done and still have time to laze around and re-charge? I would love to work part-time. I'm hoping one day that might be possible, especially when we have our own family.
The long and the short of it seems to always come down to money. And I don't even mean a whole heap of money - just money to pay the bills, buy the occasional new top and video game in Reid's case, most weeks enough to pay some extra off the mortgage and some in the savings. We are really lucky in that we don't have to worry every week about whether or not we can pay our bills this week. That alone is a huge blessing. Reid and I work really hard to make sure this happens, though.
We are often stressed and so tired by the end of the day. Sometimes we don't prioritise our health. Sometimes we take this out on each other. Sometimes we get to the end of a weekend and haven't really spent any time relaxing at all. I'm honestly at a bit of a loss as to how we can change it. We certainly can't quit our jobs. We certainly can't stop seeing our family and friends (nor would we want to!) and we certainly can't stop doing things around our home that take up a lot of time.
I don't go to church anymore.
That might seem like no big deal. I have told myself that it's no big deal. I guess my priorities aren't really in check. That's not my intention though. It really isn't. I do miss it. I do feel like I make excuses about it a lot. "I'm too busy!" How did I get so busy?
I'm trying to do too much I guess. I don't know how else to get everything done though!
Life is so precious and I'm obviously not making time for the right things. I have diaries and planners and scribbled-all-over calendars. I have numerous lists and time management strategies to get it all done - but is all this planning really what I want to be doing?
I find no glory in my busy lifestyle. I find myself constantly trying to think of ways to be less busy. I guess I just really need to sort this out, before I burn out!