The saying about following your head or your heart is something I have struggled with over the past few years. I fought and fought against studying teaching even though my heart pulled me so strongly in that direction and has for so many years. I have given in to that particular pull and started officially studying my Master of Teaching two weeks ago. So far, I'm really loving it. As I listen to the lectures and do the readings all I can think about it myself one day standing in front of a class full of students. Some who won't want to be there, some who love to learn, some who will fight against things I try to teach, some who will hate reading, hate writing, hate research, hate theories of Sociology. Some who will have incredibly challenging circumstances outside of school, some who will have supportive families. Some who struggle to fit in, some who are bullies and some who are friendly, kind and loving. I already imagine the myriad of different students I will come across. Things are already so different from when I was at school. I went to school in quite a cushioned environment. Most of the students were well-off, most of them were high achievers, most teachers were excellent. While I loved my time at school, I need to prepare myself for the challenges that I will face - even just on my Practical Experience placements that will come with time. I don't have this fantasy of a perfect class full of well-behaved, eager learners - I know that doesn't exist. My aim as a teacher will be to somehow reach every student in some way. To teach them all something, even if my subjects don't interest them. I know not everyone is going to love reading and writing the way I do. Not everyone is going to be interested in the theories of Durkheim and issues of gender and social inequality. What I want to learn, is how to make an impact on my students' lives. I don't want to be viewed as a disinterested person who studied teaching for the good holiday leave. I want to be able to learn from my students as well. I want them to share their passions, I want to help them reach their full potential and I want to show them that they can fight for what they want. I know that this venture is going to be so much more challenging than I can picture, but I know it will also be incredibly rewarding.
There will be constant changes I will need to deal with when I become a teacher. I will need to learn to embrace them and not be put off by things not going to plan. I will need to learn to let go. To learn from my students as well as to try my very best to teach them. Here's hoping I'm up to the task!