2013 is drawing to a close and I truly can’t believe it. I know that everyone says time flies, but this year in particular seems to have disappeared before my eyes.
Lots has happened this year and at the same time, it has been a blur of routine. The biggest, most important event of the year was without a doubt my marriage to the man of my dreams on 2nd March. The weather was perfect, our favourite people in the world were there with us and we ended the day as husband and wife. I can’t believe that in a couple of months it will be a year since that day. The happiest day of my life.
Mostly 2013 was filled with work. I have really struggled in my job over the last two years, but I can finally say that I am starting to enjoy it and honestly I feel truly lucky to even have a full time job. I get to help people every day, even though it is definitely a challenge, I have to believe that it’s making some sort of difference to at least a few lives. I can’t believe I’ve been there for over two years now, my first full time job. Sometimes I still feel like the terrified 21 year old who walked through the door and I’m pretty sure a lot of the time I’m still viewed that way, but I know within myself that I have come a really long way. I have pushed myself beyond my fear when most days all I have wanted to do is crawl under my bed and stay there. I feel like I know what I’m doing although I know I still have so much to learn. I love the fact that I work with such a great group of people, they are what gets me through the day. Things are changing however, I just hope I can continue to prove I have the strength to deal with it.
Two beautiful bundles of joy became a part of our family in September 2013; Millie Lee and Oscar Ray, twins for my brother Paul and sister-in-law Karen. They have already brought so much joy to us all in the short time they have been here and I can’t wait to continue to watch them grow and evolve into wonderful little people.
While there may not have been a lot of other big events this year, it has been full of little things that have made it remarkable. I have started to see myself differently. I have been taking medication for the whole year to help with my anxiety and this has helped slow my thoughts down enough for me to realise a few things. I have realised that I have the power to choose how to respond to fear and that I can turn it into something positive. I have learnt that taking care of myself is really important and how terrible I feel when I don’t. I have learnt never to judge someone’s physical appearance because I have become so overly self-conscious about my own since I realised some of the side effects of my medication.
2013 has been a huge year of growth. Reid and I have taken steps towards building our first home which will hopefully be started early next year. We are making plans for our life together that makes me so excited and I feel so blessed to be sharing everything with this wonderful man. I have learnt to be grateful in any and every situation because ultimately, I have a really great life. I have a beautiful family and wonderful friends and the most amazing man by my side.
I’m really looking forward to 2014 and all that it may bring. I know there will be struggles, I don’t expect perfection. I do expect happiness throughout the struggles, I do expect that I will continue to learn and I do expect that I will continue to try and respect myself and not continue to put myself down constantly. I want to make more memories with my husband, I want to continue to enjoy time with my close-knit family and I want to be a better person than I was this year. I hope to look back on this post in a year’s time and realise that I accomplished something and that I had another year full of personal growth. I hope that all my loved ones can say the same. I look forward to a happy, healthy and challenging 2014 and wish the same for you.