I think my last few posts have made it pretty clear that I am really trying to be an all around happier, more positive person than I have been known to be in the past. I have also written on here a lot about time and how it seems to simply disappear before I even realise that a day has passed. I am trying to learn more about the way I structure my days, as it is honestly a blur of routines to me, but I don't want that to be the way I live my life. This brings me to an important, often-used, often hard to achieve word: Priorities.
For most of my life, school was my priority. Studying was always number one, but now, I don't have anything that I am studying for, so this frees me up a bit, although occasionally I do wish I was still studying, and I probably will end up studying something in the future, who knows?!
When I started work, that became a big priority obviously - so much so that I have nearly made myself very ill trying to prove that I am worthy to be in the role that I am, which to be honest, I have never felt that I truly am. I definitely try my best though and unfortunately I can't do any better than that.
When I think about the things in my life that are most important to me, a pretty standard list comes to mind: Family, Reid and Friends. These are the things that I place most value on and I try my best to maintain a happy balance with, although I know that my family and Reid tend to come before my friends which I guess can be seen as a positive or a negative.
It is only now that I am noticing that nowhere in my list of main priorities is - myself.
Now this is not meant to sound selfish, but I think I really do need to start putting myself a bit further up my priorities list. At the moment I feel a bit overwhelmed. Work has been busier than ever (although things are quite good), Reid and I are trying really hard to save for house while still trying to live a life that we can enjoy, my immediate family has just grown to 15 members (my brother and sister-in-law had twins today!! So excited!) which means a lot of functions, get togethers, dinners, birthdays and other celebrations (which I love to attend) and I have a lot of friends who I would love to spend more time with, but in the midst of all of these things... where is there any time for me?
Reid works weekends (recently has started getting two Saturdays off a month - thank goodness) and this has been really hard for us. We were getting absolutely no time together because of having opposite days off and then constantly having plans of Friday and Saturday nights with family and friends. On the days when Reid is at work I am usually seeing friends or family and occasionally get some time to chill at home but this often seems very rare. For the last couple of weekends, I've been able to actually spend some time alone, relaxing on the couch with cups of tea and my favourite shows, the ability to potter around doing some healthy baking and food prep for the week ahead and actually having some time to read a book and take a breath. The difference it has made in me is pretty incredible. I feel more refreshed, more positive, more able to face difficult things that the next week might throw at me and I truly feel like I have been able to stop for a minute and re-boot.
I think I've been pretty close to burning out in the past few months and it's time to make sure that doesn't happen. So now my priorities list reads a little differently: Family, Reid, Friends and Katy. I feel better already! And I can guarantee that my family, Reid and my friends will benefit from this new list too :)