I haven't written here for a long time. In all honesty I haven't really known where to start.
Things have changed, once again, from my last post.
While teaching is something that I think I have definitely thought about a lot over the years, I don't think it's time for that right now. My mind is still so full of doubts and while Reid is incredibly supportive and would be happy for our lives to change, I think I need to be really, really, really sure of what I want to be doing before quitting a full time job and losing a lifestyle that I love.
Reid and I have so much that we are planning for. We want our own home, we want to start a family in the next few years and we want to be able to enjoy our life without being incredibly financially limited.
My job has improved somehwat. My role has changed slightly and I am finding it much more enjoyable and am not feeling sick every day when my alarm goes off. I am taking some medication to help with my anxiety and while that is proving to have some unwanted side effects, my mental health is more important to me at this stage than my vanity.
Right now, I am feeling content.
That is a pretty rare thing for me to feel.
I've been thinking a lot lately about how I can truly live the best life possible. I don't want to be seen as boring. I want to have adventures and live life to fullest, but in all honesty, I think beginning the journey of buying a house and enjoying the rare days I get to spend with my husband are what my dreams are these days. I still want to travel eventually, I want to do new and exciting things but I also want to enjoy what I have and focus on treating every day as an opportunity to feel happy and seriously enjoy the small things. I find that a lot of the people I know are so busy planning for the future and wishing they were doing something different that they aren't enjoying this very moment.
At the moment I can truly say that my favourite things are things that I am able to enjoy right this second. For example, scented candles, days at home relaxing on the couch, ordering things online from local businesses when I can afford it, going out for breakfast with Reid, filling a shopping trolley with fruits and vegetables, trying different types of tea and browsing local markets for hidden treasures.
Too often life seems to become more about what we wish we could be experiencing rather than focussing on what we are lucky enough to be experiencing right now.
What are you grateful for right this moment?