Sunday, 17 February 2013

Choices, choices, choices.

When I first started this blog, I wanted to try and write a post around once a week, but all of a sudden it's 17th February 2013 and I haven't written anything since October 2012.
As I sit here looking back over the last four months, nothing overly significant has happened to keep me so occupied that I couldn't find half an hour to sit down and write down some of my constantly whirling thoughts.
Over the last four months I have worked, continued planning mine and Reid's wedding, celebrated Christmas and a New Year and turned 23 years old.
It gets me thinking about my priorities and how much life can fly by without you even stopping to breathe and enjoy a moment.  That has definitely been my life for the past four months, probably even longer.
For my whole school life, I wanted to be a teacher.  I completed year twelve in 2008 and applied to do a Bachelor of Arts with the aim of then going on to do a Masters of Teaching.
I started my Arts degree, immediately felt repulsed by the University environment after my cushioned journey at Collegiate and after a few very opinionated people telling me that teaching was one of the stupidest paths I could take, I changed my mind.  I completed my Bachelor of Arts in 2011 and immediately started full time work as an Employment Consultant, which was something I thought I would enjoy, seeing as after reading, writing and music, social work and community services are my passion.  But here I am, over a year later, still an Employment Consultant, and every day I feel less and less sure about where I should be and where I want to be in my career.  Although I do know that I still think about teaching.  I know, I am only young.  I know I have a lot of time to change jobs, do more courses and decide what it is that I am really called to do.  I don't want to be stuck comfortably earning a living, being able to afford to do the things I want and save for a house and live a predictable life. I know I have so many positive things in my life, more than a lot of people and I am truly grateful, I just don't know where I should be heading.
I know that I have an amazing man by my side who will support me in whatever I decide, even if that means changing some of our plans.  I know that I have the freedom to choose from so many different things, I could move states, I could move countries, I could travel and earn money somehow and live this unpredictable life full of exciting adventures.  But then I think that maybe I just want to buy a lovely house, stay in Tassie near my friends and family, find a job that I really enjoy and will be flexible when I have children getting under my feet and taking up the majority of my time.  Both of these lives are so markedly different, and both of these sound so wonderful to me.   
But how do you choose?  How do you know which path you should take?  I have to leap and I am not the sort of person who likes to leap.  I am the person who writes a pro/con list and then still can't decide!
I am so sure that I want my life to be fulfilling and one that I can look back on and feel like I really made a mark.  I guess the hardest part is figuring out how to do it.  I guess for now I just need to really enjoy and celebrate the fact that I DO have the freedom to choose.

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