Life can be funny sometimes. In fact, it is often funny all the time, just usually we can't see the joke.
Lately I have been so worked up; so stressed about the littlest things and so caught up in planning mine and Reid's wedding, worrying about money and decorations and offending this person and that person, until this morning for some reason, I burst out laughing at the pure craziness of it all.
When Reid first proposed to me, I swore to myself that I would enjoy the wedding planning process and I swore to my bridesmaids that I wouldn't be a "Bridezilla" - which is kind of in my highly strung (at times) nature.
Our wedding is ultimately coming together beautifully. We have the ceremony location picked, the reception location picked, I'm paying off my beautiful princess dress, I'm in the midst of organising hair and make-up, planning colours and decorations and have ordered an amazingly tasty cake - so really, it is largely under control.
The guest list however, is causing us some issues.
I want my wedding to be fun. I want to be surrounded by the people that myself and Reid love, people who are happy for us and are going to be there to support us throughout our married life. People who are genuinely interested in our lives, our future and our commitment to each other. If only it was that easy!
I will admit that I care way too much about what other people think of me. I worry about offending people, I worry about people thinking I look fat, or wear too much makeup... the list could go on forever. I know that there a lot of people who will more than likely be expecting an invite to our wedding who unfortunately, won't be getting one. These people are the ones who don't understand the cost involved, the fact that myself and Reid and my parents aren't made of money, but because we used to be close or because we talk occasionally, then they must be getting invited right? WRONG.
Strangely enough, when it comes to our guest list, I NO LONGER CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK. This wedding is mine and Reid's and we will invite who we want to invite and if people get offended by that, then so be it. Honestly, if people are going to be offended that they weren't invited and decide to get mad with us over it, then they're not the type of people that I would want on my guest list anyway.
I wish I had this approach in other aspects of my life - everything would be a lot easier and I would definitely be a lot happier.
Seriously though, our wedding is about Reid and I. Sure, our guests get "free food and alcohol" and hopefully a good night, but people need to realise that it's not actually free. It is being paid for by people who work extremely hard and who aren't millionaires.
Even if it was plausible that we could invite hundreds of people, I still wouldn't want to, because I know for a fact that people would be coming for the wrong reasons. If anyone thinks that this is selfish, then so be it. If there is one day where I am entitled to be selfish, it is my wedding day.
On 2nd March 2013, I will be marrying the love of my life. The one man who puts up with all of my stupid anxieties, my freak outs, my irrational fears and is truly the most amazing person I have ever known. If people don't know this about him, or even know anything about our relationship, then don't expect an invite to the most important day in our lives.